I stayed there and sleep at the hospital. I was there in the room of my mom when she was brought first before she brought to the ICU. My sister still stayed at the ICU. She was allowed to stay there as she is a doctor. That night I was sitting on a chair and think a lot. I know that my mom even if she was in coma, was in bad pain. But for me, I can’t allow that the respirator be pulled out of her. I want my mom to live more, to live longer. I prayed a lot to God that He take care of my mom and remove all her pain, open her eyes, and get well. I beg a lot to my God about it. I can’t hardly look at my mom with her situation. I cried a lot there in that room as I am alone and my sister was with my mom. I didn’t know that time that I fell asleep.
My sister woke me up by holding my shoulder. I thought I was dreaming that time. She asked me to go with her. We went to the ICU. And then I saw my mom without a respirator and her eyes close. I smiled that time because I thought she got well. Why sister told me, “Mom is dead.” I came near her fast and hug my mom. I cried so much, as I didn’t saw my mom still breathing even only because of the respirator. Then my sister told me that I should go back to the room and wait her there. So I went there and continue my crying.
As I was waiting there, somehow, it was good that my mom was beside God now. She will not feel any pain anymore. And her sufferings were ended. I prayed to God and thank Him that He doesn’t let my mom suffered so much. And He didn’t allow us to decide to pull out the respirator. At least we will not have the guilt that why should we pull out the respirator. Thank you God. Thank you for everything.
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