Rules for handling anger (4)

Let each one of you speak truth... - Ephesians 4:25 NKJV Rule 4: Keep it solution-focused. Someone has said that fellowship is like two fellows in a ship: one can't sink the other without sinking himself. By seeking to gain the upper hand you both lose. By seeking to save and strengthen the relationship you both win. So when you speak, be sure it's '... helpful for building others up according to their needs... ' (Ephesians 4:29 NIV). Try to understand what the other person needs. Don't bring up previously confessed offenses; don't drag in other people; don't use wisecracks about people's weight, height, colour, IQ, physical, mental and emotional limitations; don't bring up unrelated things that cloud the issue and keep you from finding a solution. And don't raise the volume in order to intimidate and manipulate. God made you with a capacity for anger because when handled the right way it's the fuel that brings needed change and the medicine that heals. So: a) Seek a solution, not a 'victory.' Name-calling and 'diagnosing' others only makes things worse. Your focus should not be on what they did, but on what you can do together to resolve it b) admit your own flaws and ask for forgiveness. Since it takes two to tango, acknowledging your own imperfections makes it easier for someone else to acknowledge theirs c) every time you take a 'swing' at someone, offer them a positive 'stroke.' '... If there be any virtue... think on these things' (Philippians 4:8). For each of the difficulties you address, give a compliment. 'I'm sure this wasn't easy for you to hear. Thanks for listening to me so graciously.' Being solution-focused gives people something positive to live up to, not down to! SoulFood Bible Readings: 2 Kings 16:1-18:16, Luke 1:39-56, Ps 139:7-12, Pr 13:
Source: "The Word for Today", brought to you by Rhema Broadcasting Group in association with The Vine - www.thevine.co.nz™