Sadly, such competition with one’s own children is more common than you think. When a marriage is not going well and a spouse turns to a child for much needed support and love that the partner cannot or will not give, jealousy, anger, abuse and neglect will often surface.
Dad is jealous of his son who is so close to mom. He resents his son and feels that the boy is receiving the love and affection from the mother that belongs to him. The boy becomes a silent competition for the mother’s love. And the kid is always at the losing end as far as his father is concerned.
You would be surprised at how often this happens. In similar fashion, when the daughter is dad’s favorite, the wife will resent the attention the girl is getting if she feels her husband love is wanting. She might deny it till she is blue in the face, but her irritation and impatience with the girl will be a sure sign that it is so. Often, the anger and jealousy will break out in open conflict as the mother and daughter make war on each other.
We always say that we want a better life for our kids than we had, but the truth is that sometimes there is a feeling that the children are far luckier than the parents. And, unless the parents are solid and mature, there can be resentment and anger towards them. Not something that the parent is ready to admit to, but something that is obvious to those who know the family.
Can parents become jealous and envious of their own children? Absolutely, if the conditions are right. - Bob Garon
If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 820-6107 or 825-1771 or e-mail me at goldenvalues_school@yahoo.com.ph or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati City.
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